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The world is ending! and other conspiracy theories discussed by high school freshmen

The other day my freshmen students were talking about weird coincidences and secret government plans to take over the world.  They folded a $20 bill to show that it illustrated how the planes would fly into the Twin Towers and demonstrated how you could link the buildings in the Pentagon to form a star worshipping the devil.  I had heard about the lewd Disney cartoon drawings in undersea castles or whispered underneath spoken words, but I hadn’t heard that President Obama apparently, like his House, thanked the devil during his presidential acceptance speech.  Some of the conspiracies are so ludicrous that you can’t help but laugh, but some of them seem a little more plausible.  See for yourself. Here are the CONSPIRACIES OF THE UNITED STATES as told by high school freshmen:

Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy’s assassinations were a little too similar for comfort!

I’d heard this one before, but I didn’t know all the details.  They really are a little eerie. Here are a few:

--Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846; JFK, 1946.                                                  

--Lincoln was elected President in 1860; JFK, 1960.

--Both Lincoln’s and Kennedy’s wives held their heads in their laps after the men were shot.

-- Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran to a warehouse; JFK’s assassin shot him in a warehouse and ran to a theater.

The Denver Airport is really the headquarters for the Illuminati so they can take over the whole world!

This conspiracy theory posits that the Illuminati (which I still don’t really understand) is using the Airport as its headquarters to kick off the global genocide that will begin the New World Order.  The Denver Airport was built in 1995, but it has fewer runways than the perfectly good airport it replaced, Stapleton International. The conspiracy theorists say that five buildings for the airport were completed and then buried underground. No one knows why. Barbed wire around the airport is pointed in, to keep people in, rather than out like at other airports. In addition, the runways are revealed to be laid out like a Nazi swastika. Also, the Queen of England (a member of the Illuminati) is buying up land around it anonymously.  I don’t know about this; it definitely sounds kind of creepy. On a practical note, I always get nauseous flying into this airport because the air currents around it are so choppy. Why would they put it there and make everybody sick during every flight? I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I still hate flying into this airport.

Rihanna’s “Umbrella” song contains occult messages!

I’m not too up on the popular songs of high schoolers, but I guess this one (and only this one) isn’t about sex.  Instead, it is allegedly about being possessed by the devil. Conspiracy theorists say the “umbrella” means that the person is under protection or possession or something.  In other words, they are equating protection and possession, which seems wrong and not necessarily true.  The theorists say that Rihanna plays the devil trying to take over Rihanna in the first part of the song and then Rihanna trying not to get possessed in the second part. Look at the video’s clothes or something--she's wearing black and then white. This one is just dumb.  Maybe she just wants to look like Madonna.

Obama’s “Yes, we can!” slogan contains a message thanking the devil for Obama’s presidency and eventual world takeover!

This conspiracy theory seems more sinister than the others because it is saying that if you don’t like the president, you can just pretend that he is a devil-worshipper rather than say you don’t like the amendment he just passed.  It makes these conspiracy theorists seem like uniformed idiots with no legitimate case against the president.  But, the idea of this conspiracy theory is that if you play Obama’s presidential acceptance speech backwards, his “Yes, we can!” slogan actually says “Thank you, Satan.”  Other hidden messages played backwards include, “The Lord said the new Arab sins are with him” and “So birth the mark that’s now sooner.”  Most of these alleged hidden messages don’t make any sense logically or structurally. It seems strange that the man entrusted with creating the devil’s new world on earth wouldn't be as well-spoken thanking the devil as he is "pretending" to be the president.


After we discussed these conspiracies, I asked the freshmen how they could know if something was real or made-up.  They said you could never know for sure.  Leave it to freshmen to say some crazy stuff, but you have to recognize that some of the time, they have a lot of sense. 

Sources and further reading: